oh my.

I wish the screen wasn't all so bright and I wish virgin radio would shoot itself in it's fucking head. New York City is not my city. I think that's one ofthe first things i've realized since coming here. I'm glad i'll be leaving in a while. In a year or so I might go away again and it will be okay, I guess. While the entire time I miss London so greatly it breaks my heart.

The night I heard about Camden burning down I wept all night. It's part of where my heart is, has always been. Maybe they'll get the shitty areas cleaned up that way. It is also an instant connection to Holly. A connection I miss more than anything. This weekend I called my mother, sister and brother ( I refrain from saying "home" ,really cause it isn't. It never was, it's never been a shelter of any sort either. ) and none of them asked me anything about my life. None of them did, they prefered to brag about their make up and tanning sessions. Which I did enjoy hearing. But not really and at times I wondered if they were hearing me, at all.

Nyc is indeed lovely, but it's a tourist city if you look closely. And a working city. It has no flair whatsoever, you don't get lost in it because there is so much to see but because everything just looks exactly the same. It's gigantic in space but flat as a rug when it comes to spirits. Mark Ronson said summat quite right in one of his interviews about how London has this music scene going on while New York hasn't spit out anything relevant music wise since The strokes. And i mean if you have to count on The Strokes you're pretty fucked. Pretty pretty much.

It doesn't feel old either, the city. I like old, I miss old. All kinds of old are lacking here.