that song, love
Audio: Share a song that fits the moment you're living right now.
Inspired by cherè.
If
the past year has teached me anything it's that in the end it's
just me and my pants.I haven't thought about this until early this
morning walking my routined way to school. Out of the house, down the
road, then right passing the little boutique called "Blackshop"
checking out the beauty they have lying in their windows and the
little Emily the Strange kitten head on the door saying "Closed"
in big bold letters.It fits the interior. I don't think they ever
change it, only the lights tell you wether the small store is open or
not. It's one of those i call "climb-in-stores", inside
there's usually a bored lady looking a security dog in front of an
old old castle watching over princesses and their belongings. Of
course in this case it's usually a girl fitting the description
"fashion punk" watching over leather shoes and lovely bags
with dead babies heads on it ( it's only pictures. Don't cry, please.
).
It's those "climb-in-stores" i despise very much,
you feel like a knight trying to storm the bastille. And you'll have
to pay for it. In hard cash rather than by getting killed cause of
the dragon keeping the princess.
So i pass that store, first
window, second window, third window. Wondering how much those
lovelies are because there's no prices. Probably for good. I cross
the street now heading towards the other side of it, i check out the
traffic, pass the cars, the trains, another row of cars and then i'm
save again on the other side of the street.
I could have passed
earlier with the traffic lights, but i like how it feels to know
that's barely 8 in the morning, that my senses are probably not
working properly, that i'm wearing my glasses, that the street is
slippery from morning rain and that my Chucks could easily mean the
death for me mixed with this.
I also like that most of the cars
can't be seen from far away and that there's atleast six trains
riding while i'm crossing.
And then it dawns on me, really.
The lights dim right now, setting the cold mood of the morning even
further apart from lovely. There's no sun yet, not really anyway and
you can tell that there won't be any real sunlights touching body
today. Or atleast i can.
My fingers, covered with gloves from H&M,
scrubby wool ones in lovely black, they creep deeper into the tight
front pockets in my even tighter jeans. They're light blue and i love
them but my bum is just too big.
The thought is there right
now, i can barely grab it but i know it's there. No neon lights in my
head, no warning signs, Alanis Morissette isn't yelling at me either.
It's not ironic, i think.
I feel my chest whidening, it's filling
with cold, wet air and my eyes are closing, my feet still heading
towards school, i can already see the old sanguine building rising in
front of me. My Chucks are squeeking, i'm getting my senses back.
Hearing the weird noise the left over rain and my rubber soles are
creating brings back the rushing sound of the cars to my left and
right and i count the steps till i'm reaching school ground.
"Or
maybe its that i realised that it is true;
No-ones really there
fighting for you in the last garison.
No-one except yourself that
is, no-one except you.
You are the one who's got your back 'til
the last deeds done.
Scott can't have my back til the absolute
end,
Coz hes got to look out for what over his horizon.
He's
gotta to make sure he's not lonely, not broke.
It's enough to
worry about keeping his own head above."
I shut the door behind me as i enter the building, the new fire-case-approved doors which don't match or do the actual building any justice remind me that i'd rather get a bunch of students killed in a fire case for the sake of a lovely building losing it's lovelyness.
The heavy door locks in, the condensation floats off my breath one last time, i pick up my pace to hurry up a little so i won't be late for chemistry, cause really that teacher is quite a mess if you don't make it to his class.
With my last squinting shoe and water sound i look down on the floor with all the footstep-ish rain right there, a smile on my face seing them sitting there in last row smiling back to me as i enter the room.
